Countdown to Surgery

Thursday is still my surgery day. I had my preop last Friday and left feeling a little freaked out. I have bittersweet feelings about it. As I was walking up to the hospital, there was a couple about to take home their new baby. The dad pulled the car up to the curb, the nurse put the baby into the car seat from the bassinet and then the mom sat in the back seat right beside the baby...just like us almost 8 years ago. I stood there and watched them. I just couldn't take my eyes off of them. How lucky they were! I thought, do they even know it? Do they know how much some women have to go through to get to that moment? Some never get to experience it at all. It brought huge tears to my eyes. The pain is still so raw, even after all these years. Of course, being at that doctors office and that hospital are hard for me. It just brings back so many memories.

Then I remembered that I might just get to do that someday soon. I hope and pray that it will be soon! How easily I forget that a baby is in our plans. Day to day tasks consume me sometimes. I will say that we have spent a lot of time the last week organizing Jacob's room and moving lots of stuff into the baby's room. It is very close to being ready for him or her.

On the way home from the preop, which took a whopping 4 hours, I had a pity party for my uterus. I listened to my favorite songs on my ipod (David Crowder's All I Can Say and Mercy me Bring the Rain and many others) and cried my heart out. I laughed at the same time thinking this was my goodbye moment for my uterus. God brought me such peace at that time. I AM READY!

We are to be there at 5am. Surgery should start by 7:30am and is expected to last for 5-6 hours. I hope to be out of the post op room and in my own room by the late afternoon. The doctors still say that I will be in the hospital until the following Tuesday, which is a long time. My longest hospital stay so far has been 3 days and that felt like forever.

Wednesday I will be on a liquid only diet and that evening will be taking some pills to clean me out...should be a fun night :) I have never taken the pills before but have been told they are better than the stuff you drink. Please pray that all goes well the night before...I tend to get very dehydrated with nauseau and vomiting.

Please pray that all goes well during the surgery and that I don't have any problems with anesthesia. Please pray that I am not in too much pain. Pray that I won't go crazy during my hospital stay. Or, drive Shane crazy.

Pray for Shane as he has to get up very early and drive me to the hospital and then sit in a waiting room all day and then sit in my hospital room. We are planning on him spending a couple of nights with me. He may need to be there the first night that I am allowed to get out of bed, also, which would be the third night.

Pray for my parents as they will have Jacob for several days. Pray that Jacob will not be scared. He understands that they are removing the parts that a woman needs to make and carry a baby. He also probably thinks that all mommies have surgery every year :(

Please pray, very hard, that this is the answer to what I have been going through all these years...the pain, fatigue. Pray that I will be a new woman after this. Speaking of being a new woman, they will put a hormone replacement patch on me while I am in the hospital. I am only allowed to use hormone replacement for 3 months then will have to switch to some other natural form. Pray that that goes smoothly for me (and for Shane).

I have been madly running errands and organizing this and that. Tomorrow is my last day of normalcy. Mom and I are celebrating with lunch at Rao's. I do plan on eating my favorite Oreo cheesecake. After that, no more food!

Thanks for all of your prayers!
Laura