For those of you wondering if anything else has been going on in our lives...well, yes, there is always something going on in our lives. Jacob got his 8th win at BMX this past Saturday and now moves up to the intermediate class. The kids in that class are fast. Shane is already madly calculating what he has to spend to get Jacob's bike more lightweight and how to teach him how to use clip-in pedals. Apparently, if he is going to win any more races, this has to be done. I remember when I was told that all we had to do was get him a BMX bike and that would last him for a long time. Well, it lasted all of 6 months and now we have to spend that amount again to make him more competitive. We wouldn't do this if he didn't love to race and we didn't love watching him.
We still have our border collie. The couple that wanted her (and we wanted them to have her as they were going to be awesome for her) ended up taking in another dog that needed a home asap or was going to be put down. I am grateful for their hearts but angry that we missed that opportunity. After they said they wanted her, we received several inquiries who we told she had a home. Since then...no inquiries. I worry that Christmastime is not a good time for people to be looking for a dog. I hope I am wrong. We are ready for her to go to her new home and for our cats to have the run of the house.
I am looking forward to the holidays and having Jacob home more. I sure do miss him when he is at school all day. He, of course, is very excited about no school, presents and playing outside with his friends. The boys on the street are very into Star Wars right now. They all get their light sabers out and pretend fight. Jacob and I have seen all 6 movies in the last 2 weeks, but, not in order...which drives me crazy. I get confused and can't remember who anyone is. He knows all the characters and what color light saber they use.
Thanksgiving day we are having lunch at Shane's parents house. After dinner, we hope to be able to drive up to Magnolia and visit some of Shane's dad's family. His Nanny is not doing real well and we want to see her as much as possible. Speaking of grandmother's, my dad's mom from LA is now in hospice. Her cancer has spread throughout. Please pray that she will not suffer from pain. She is 91 years old.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!!!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I know you are all wondering where we have been. Well, life has been a little crazy for us. Back in August, my surgeon told me that we had to transfer our frozen embryos asap as I would need a hysterectomy within six months. We decided to go for it. It took a while for me to wean off of a few of my meds before I had permission. About a month ago, I started taking estrogen and a week later progesterone injections. For whatever reason, my body does not tolerate hormone replacement very well. The estrogen fuels the growth of endometriosis and makes my life miserable. Throw in the progesterone and you have one grumpy, nauseous, extremely tired, unhappy woman. I have spent the last two weeks practically doing nothing as I have felt so bad. I had days where I couldn't keep any food down and I thank God for Chick fil'A milkshakes.
On the 7th we had the embryo transfer. We had two frozen embryos but only one survived the thawing process. It was maturing great and was already hatching. Hatching is when the edges of the embryo start to separate in preparation for attaching to the uterine lining. The transfer was not a pleasant experience. While I was out of the room, Shane told my doctor about the movie "Baby Mama." One of my favorite scenes is when the doctor tells Tina Fey's character "I don't like your uterus. I just don't like your uterus." Since I can relate to this, I thought it was pretty funny. So, when I returned from the bathroom, my sweet little Indian doctor looked at me and said "Laura, I don't want to make you laugh (I had a very full bladder for the procedure) but I just don't like your cervix." After the procedure, I rested for a couple of days and then resumed life as normal. At least, I tried to. I had to go to the doctor for blood work on the 14th and again this past Friday for the pregnancy test.
My doctor called last night and told us the results. I had not taken a home test and since I was feeling so sick could not have told you if I "felt pregnant" or not. After all that misery, I am not pregnant. We have added two more children to our rather large family in Heaven. This was our last chance to try for our own biological child. I did have mixed emotions about having to spend months on bed rest as I did with Jacob; but, the thought of getting to experience pregnancy again, especially with Jacob, was exciting. Unfortunately, that is not what God had planned for us. We are grieving, of course. I want to ask God, if You can move mountains, why can't You make me pregnant again? Is it such a big thing to ask? I loved this baby that was inside of me. I know that is hard for some to understand, but I truly felt love for my baby even as a blob of cells. I know that the pain will diminish and life will continue on as usual. And, I have a beautiful mini-me to love and I thank God for him each and every day.
For a long time, we have questioned what God's plan was for us. Were we to have another biological child or adopt? Now that we know the answer, I am relieved and ready to close the door to infertility and move on. I will never again have to give myself an injection. I will never again have to drive across town for bloodwork and wait all day for the results. I will never again have to endure the pain of losing a baby that we conceived. That is not to say that I can forget the past 13 years of infertility. I will always be an infertile woman and it will always hurt. But, we are very much excited about the adoption and now that we are finally done with any and all infertility treatments, maybe God will allow it to finally happen. The fact that I can have another baby is so reassuring. To me, it doesn't matter where the baby comes from. I know I will love him or her no matter what. In fact, I already do love my baby and I look forward to meeting him or her soon.
Please pray for us as we grieve our loss. Pray that God will give us a beautiful baby soon. We are excited to see God's plan unfold in our lives. We are waiting!!!
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.
Psalm 130:5
On the 7th we had the embryo transfer. We had two frozen embryos but only one survived the thawing process. It was maturing great and was already hatching. Hatching is when the edges of the embryo start to separate in preparation for attaching to the uterine lining. The transfer was not a pleasant experience. While I was out of the room, Shane told my doctor about the movie "Baby Mama." One of my favorite scenes is when the doctor tells Tina Fey's character "I don't like your uterus. I just don't like your uterus." Since I can relate to this, I thought it was pretty funny. So, when I returned from the bathroom, my sweet little Indian doctor looked at me and said "Laura, I don't want to make you laugh (I had a very full bladder for the procedure) but I just don't like your cervix." After the procedure, I rested for a couple of days and then resumed life as normal. At least, I tried to. I had to go to the doctor for blood work on the 14th and again this past Friday for the pregnancy test.
My doctor called last night and told us the results. I had not taken a home test and since I was feeling so sick could not have told you if I "felt pregnant" or not. After all that misery, I am not pregnant. We have added two more children to our rather large family in Heaven. This was our last chance to try for our own biological child. I did have mixed emotions about having to spend months on bed rest as I did with Jacob; but, the thought of getting to experience pregnancy again, especially with Jacob, was exciting. Unfortunately, that is not what God had planned for us. We are grieving, of course. I want to ask God, if You can move mountains, why can't You make me pregnant again? Is it such a big thing to ask? I loved this baby that was inside of me. I know that is hard for some to understand, but I truly felt love for my baby even as a blob of cells. I know that the pain will diminish and life will continue on as usual. And, I have a beautiful mini-me to love and I thank God for him each and every day.
For a long time, we have questioned what God's plan was for us. Were we to have another biological child or adopt? Now that we know the answer, I am relieved and ready to close the door to infertility and move on. I will never again have to give myself an injection. I will never again have to drive across town for bloodwork and wait all day for the results. I will never again have to endure the pain of losing a baby that we conceived. That is not to say that I can forget the past 13 years of infertility. I will always be an infertile woman and it will always hurt. But, we are very much excited about the adoption and now that we are finally done with any and all infertility treatments, maybe God will allow it to finally happen. The fact that I can have another baby is so reassuring. To me, it doesn't matter where the baby comes from. I know I will love him or her no matter what. In fact, I already do love my baby and I look forward to meeting him or her soon.
Please pray for us as we grieve our loss. Pray that God will give us a beautiful baby soon. We are excited to see God's plan unfold in our lives. We are waiting!!!
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.
Psalm 130:5
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
All About Me
This is one of those "getting to know you" e-mails that I received. Here are my answers:
1. What is your occupation right now? Full-time mom and CPA...although I do spend a lot of time at my computer doing nothing important, Shane says
2. What color are your socks right now? I'm in my usual flip flops
3. What are you listening to right now? Shane on a con-call and Sadie scratching herself
4. What was the last thing that you ate? soup and sandwich at Egg & I
5. Can you drive a stick shift? NO!
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my Mom
8. How old are you today? 38 and a couple of weeks
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? BMX and motocross and no I don't live in a trailer
10. What is your favorite drink? iced tea
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? highlights only
12. Favorite food? mexican
13. What is the last movie you watched? Baby Mama...too funny
14. favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving
15. How do you vent anger? I keep it in
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbie dolls
17. What is your favorite season? spring
18. Cherries or Blueberries? neither
22. Living arrangements? Shane and Jacob, 3 cats (Sidney, Moose and Boo) and 2 dogs (Sadie and Riley...for another week than 1 dog...boo hoo hoo)
23. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday when Riley's new owner called to say that they want her
24. What is on the floor of your closet? You are so lucky that I just spent hours cleaning my closet....shoes, yoga mat
26. What did you do last night? Watched 27 Dresses...the election just depressed me
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy cheese
29. Favorite dog breed? Labrador
30. Favorite day of the week? Friday
32. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds
33. What is your favorite flower? tulip
1. What is your occupation right now? Full-time mom and CPA...although I do spend a lot of time at my computer doing nothing important, Shane says
2. What color are your socks right now? I'm in my usual flip flops
3. What are you listening to right now? Shane on a con-call and Sadie scratching herself
4. What was the last thing that you ate? soup and sandwich at Egg & I
5. Can you drive a stick shift? NO!
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my Mom
8. How old are you today? 38 and a couple of weeks
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? BMX and motocross and no I don't live in a trailer
10. What is your favorite drink? iced tea
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? highlights only
12. Favorite food? mexican
13. What is the last movie you watched? Baby Mama...too funny
14. favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving
15. How do you vent anger? I keep it in
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbie dolls
17. What is your favorite season? spring
18. Cherries or Blueberries? neither
22. Living arrangements? Shane and Jacob, 3 cats (Sidney, Moose and Boo) and 2 dogs (Sadie and Riley...for another week than 1 dog...boo hoo hoo)
23. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday when Riley's new owner called to say that they want her
24. What is on the floor of your closet? You are so lucky that I just spent hours cleaning my closet....shoes, yoga mat
26. What did you do last night? Watched 27 Dresses...the election just depressed me
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy cheese
29. Favorite dog breed? Labrador
30. Favorite day of the week? Friday
32. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds
33. What is your favorite flower? tulip
Saturday, November 1, 2008
I am so glad Halloween is over with. Since Shane and Jacob are camping, I just put a bowl of candy at the front door, turned off the lights and spent the evening yelling at the dogs to quit barking at every noise they heard. Riley likes to "tell" me when she hears something and it is quite annoying. She usually won't stop barking until I get up and see what is so exciting for her. Border collie's are so so smart and are very vigilant about keeping their owners informed of the happenings around them. If only she knew. I listed her on the BC Rescue and Aussie websites as up for adoption. This was not an easy decision as we love her very much but I believe it is the best decision for our family. Since she has been listed for over 2 weeks, I was losing hope. But, today I got an e-mail from a retired couple that are interested in her. It sounds like the perfect home, especially since they are looking for a "project" dog. They are coming to meet her tomorrow. Please pray that if this is the right home for her, that it will work out.
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Although I am enjoying my time alone, I do miss my guys. They are having lots of fun doing outside stuff...things I don't enjoy unless the weather is perfect. I have been a slob this weekend and have promised myself that I will clean house tomorrow morning. Today, I spent the day with my cousin Elan and her baby, Daniel. He said my name...it was so awesome. It sounded something like Awwaww but we knew he was trying to say Laura. He is precious and loves to gab. We went through her baby blothes and I brought Jacob's home with me just in case the baby we bring home is a boy (even it the baby is a girl she will at least have something to wear).
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Lastly, I can't tell too many details as to some things that are happening in our lives. I would just like for you all to pray that God would grant the desires of our heart. We must trust in God's timing but it is ok to pray for specific things and although I can not share what that specific thing is, please pray with and for us. There is so much power in prayer and that is all we can rely on at this time.
*******************************************
Although I am enjoying my time alone, I do miss my guys. They are having lots of fun doing outside stuff...things I don't enjoy unless the weather is perfect. I have been a slob this weekend and have promised myself that I will clean house tomorrow morning. Today, I spent the day with my cousin Elan and her baby, Daniel. He said my name...it was so awesome. It sounded something like Awwaww but we knew he was trying to say Laura. He is precious and loves to gab. We went through her baby blothes and I brought Jacob's home with me just in case the baby we bring home is a boy (even it the baby is a girl she will at least have something to wear).
*******************************************
Lastly, I can't tell too many details as to some things that are happening in our lives. I would just like for you all to pray that God would grant the desires of our heart. We must trust in God's timing but it is ok to pray for specific things and although I can not share what that specific thing is, please pray with and for us. There is so much power in prayer and that is all we can rely on at this time.
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